How to Win Friends and Influence People summarized in three minutes, or less

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Mr Carnegie’s masterpiece, selling more than 30 million copies and one of the best-selling books of all time, is THE book you have to read to make your social life god-tier. However unfortunately, we neither have the time nor the effort to manually turn the 291 or so pages to enhance our reading abilities along with our lives. To supplement this, we have devised ways, such as audio-books on Audible or short summaries of the book, like this article. Welcome, I’m Rochan Kumar and I’m here to put all of the top notch advice that this book offers in under three minutes, or less. Sit back, grab a bite, and enjoy reading what’s to come.

Dale was a renowned lecturer, and author, who had developed this book based on various accounts of people he heard and also the knowledge he had on, well, winning friends and influencing people. The principles he followed are as such,

1)Talking to people in general

Never criticize, condemn anyone, or complain. Nobody likes negativity, and you have to keep in mind that sometimes, being a whiny annoying dude is not the way to make anyone happy of your presence.

Give honest and sincere appreciation, remember the last time you were complimented? Return the favour.

Be energetic, don’t be practically half asleep, or even seem that way. It’s an immediate turn off and people wouldn’t want to talk to you if you had your eyes half closed. However, don’t be too energetic, as in tackling them with a bear hug, that’ll just weird people out.

2) Making friends

Become genuinely interested in other human beings. Find out what their interests, hobbies and personality is and the more easier it is to befriend them as someone you know rather than a complete stranger.

SMILE. You’d increase your general friendliness by so much.

Keep in mind that a person’s name is the most important word to them. Whenever you meet a person, be sure to ask them their name, and the next time you meet them, remember to call them by it.

Be a good listener and encourage them to talk about themselves. People in general love to talk about themselves and their interests, and you must listen to them in order to not offend them, without being distracted. Basic manners, this one.

Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. If you want to befriend someone who is really interested in cars, for example, then it wouldn’t make sense to talk to them about computers. Your conversation would lead nowhere fruitful.

Make the other person feel important, and don’t be shallow with it. Compliment them about anything they pay attention to. For example, if you see someone with some nice shoes, tell them that they have good taste in fashion. See their eyes glow up with appreciation for you.

3) General do not’s

Don’t argue. Nobody likes someone who dismisses their opinion and declares their own as the best. The empty vessel makes the most noise.

Don’t disrespect other opinions. It’s rude plus nobody likes it.

Don’t continue with your opinion in an argument if it is wrong. Admit that you were incorrect with your thinking quickly and emphatically. Saves a lot of trouble for you later on.

That’s about the main principles that I have been applying in my own life and seeing success with. If you do find these ideas interesting, please do try reading the book itself if you have enough time for it. There’s no summary quite like the book itself. That being said, consider following me and do discuss these principles in the comments, I’m always up for a chat.

Thank you for reading my article and have a good day!

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store